I knew I'd be bad at this

I did. I knew it. Blogging, journaling, faithfully keeping ANY kind of record of myself, my thoughts, my life, or my experiences is not something I have ever been terribly good at. I always feel like it isn't worth writing if I don't have something of significance to write about. And as most of you are aware, there is not too much actually happening in my life, hence no blog posts.

There is also a laziness factor because last week or the week before I actually had a really great blog post all written in my head but I kept not actually writing it and then the ship kind of just sailed. I will say that it was quite a good story which most definitely involved me scaling a 6 foot fence in flip flops and a towel(there was also a bathing suit, you pervs), and the towel may or may have gotten caught on the fence and been ripped off on the way down. Other than that there really isn't a whole helluva lot going on.

But can I just quickly point out how much I hate it when people are lacking in common courtesy? For instance, say a person is trying to sell a car and you express interest in said car. And let's say that first person promptly a politely replies to your inquiries and answers any and all questions you might have at which point you say you need to think about it and will get back to them. Is it me or is it just tacky to leave somebody waiting for a reply? Seriously, what is so difficult about making a phone call or writing an email that says "Thanks, but no thanks" or "I decided to go with something else" or even "Hell no, I don't want your car"?

As you may have guessed I am the seller in this scenario and this has happened more than once. However, this is about a bigger issue than just my car selling frustrations. This is about all the stupid people who get my hopes all up and then flake out. Really you guys what is so difficult about calling when you say you're going to call or whatever your preferred method of contact may be? Now, I'm not trying to point any fingers here (partially because I don't have enough fingers to point at every guy in the world or every annoyingly flaky girl) but really, just do what you say you're going to do. This is a serious problem in the world. If you can't do something, don't say you can. If you can but you just don't want to then don't say you will. This really is not a difficult concept to grasp.

Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Also, somebody please buy my car cause I can't afford the gas anymore and I really have my heart set on a new one now. That is all.

Someday. Bloody, Someday.

I’ve had something on my mind for the last few days and I feel like I need to type it out.

So here I go on the subject of “Someday”…

“Someday” can be a truly problematic thing. On one hand, “someday” is one of the things that make life worth living; it is the place where our hopes and our dreams grow and live and thrive. It can help see us through the hard days and be a light shining in the darkness of doubt and disappointment. But on the other hand, when “someday” becomes more important than today, and all our focus is on what can happen and what we wish will happen, often we rob ourselves of experiencing the here and now. And ok, fine, I’m perfectly willing to admit that the here and now is not always something we really want to be experiencing. Sometimes the present doesn’t really seem so much like a gift, but if we aren’t willing to examine every today how can we make tomorrow any better? The hard truth is that unless we make it happen “someday” will never arrive. We’ll spend our lives stuck in an endless stream of today’s that we keep trying to look pass and not experience.

To not look forward to things is to live without hope, and without hope it isn’t really living. But the present is vital as well. So what do we do?

To be perfectly honest, the whole thing is making my brain hurt. Everything is so abstract and how do you wrap your head around balancing hope with practicality and dreaming about things as opposed to accepting the reality in front of you?

I guess it’s all about finding balance. It’s about looking forward while still looking around and trying to make right now the best it can be. And above all we have to do the work now to make someday possible. Not all the things we want can happen right now or even in the immediate future, but there is always something we can be doing right now to help make those things possible.

I’m starting to feel a little motivational speaker-ish right now—like I should be living in a van down by the river and hiking my pants up a lot. I’m aware that this isn’t the most coherent post know to man and “typing it out” may have just irritated me more, but at least you guys are all confused and irritated with me.