Once Upon a Long Ago and in a Somewhere Far, Far, Far Away

There are these phrases that we grow up hearing, about distant times and lands where the world is simple and good conquers evil and it’s only a matter of time before our lives are all “Happily Ever After”. And, you guys, I swear I believed it. I did. There was a place and time, long ago and far away, when me and Sleeping Beauty were going to have it all. She had her awesome, handsome, waltz-her-around-by-a-lake-in-an-enchanted-forest-while-crooning-in-a-smooth-tenor style prince. And I was going to have an equally wonderful modern equivalent with equally awesome hair that would at very least sing to me from the shower. In the mean time, life was supposed to be simple and just somehow work out until he showed up.*

Unfortunately, time seems to have put a small hitch in my giddy-up. Somewhere along the way, when I wasn’t looking, simplicity seems to have jumped right out the window (along with my propensity to have crushes on cartoons).

So I guess the real question is…

When did it all get so complicated? And when I say all, I really mean all-- as in all facets of life, the universe, and everything. Nothing is easy anymore and every decision will somehow manage to affect the rest of my life (or at very least the next 5 years). Even something as innocuous as going out for a cheeseburger now has these huge ramifications on my life and my sanity. That seems like a crazy exaggeration, I’m aware, and yet I really did spend a number of hours yesterday trying to decide if going for a cheeseburger was a good idea or not. Seriously, texts were sent, phone calls were made, no less than three of my most trusted advisors consulted, all to decide if I should go eat cheeseburgers with…wait for it…a boy.

Yes, friends, there it is. The source of all conflict and drama-- boys. That is what brings on this little musing of mine. When did things get so complicated that I can no longer just go eat a burger with a guy who is just my friend? When did I stop being able to have guys just be my friends? (I have a suspicion it was sometime in middle school, but there is no way to really confirm or refute it.) This is a decent guy. He is nice; he’s funny, easy to be around, decently easy on the eyes, and seemingly not scared of me. So why should we not go out for burgers? It is for the exact reasons listed above. He’s all of these great things, which means that if we spend enough time together I will end up digging him. And since I am reasonably certain (based on previous conversations) that he has no interest in dating me, me digging him is just not optimal. Now I’m left with the choice between being friends with him and inevitably liking him then finding myself feeling rejected when he doesn’t like me back or just bagging it and saving myself the trouble. The latter of which wouldn’t be such a terrible option if I actually had an active social life in the state in which I reside, but sadly, I do not.

In short, life outside the enchanted forest and sans the three good fairies is a little messier than I would like (plus there is no one to turn people into fat ‘ole hop toads if I need them to), but we press on nonetheless. Maybe it’s better that things aren’t so cut and dry anymore or maybe all the uncertainty and confusion will make it all the sweeter and more satisfying down the road when at least some things work themselves out. But for right now I just want to eat my cheeseburger in peace.

*BTW I’m totally aware that the statement I just made about waiting for a guy to show up is completely anti-feminist, and open to a world of criticism about how girls are indoctrinated with the notion that life isn’t complete without a man, etc, etc, etc. and I kind of want to smack myself for even typing it. But that is another post entirely.

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